Feeling Gappy today.

What do you call the feeling when you are happy for others but sad for yourself? When you want to cry because one, someone you love has been flooded with happiness and two, because a part of your heart aches? I'll call it gappy! I feel gappy, today. (Grief+happy) Gappy? Not really. Just confusion. One of those distressing questions like "am I waisting time? waisting what I'm capable of? Waisting my life?"

Once in a movie, the actor looks at his girl and says, "There are two kinds of people in the world. The first kind, who do everything possible in their one life. The other kind, who do only one thing for their entire life." Right now, I feel like the second kind. Trust me, it feels horrible. It feels Gappy!

I'd say why I feel so, but its too private. I wish it wasn't, though. I need to talk to a stranger about this. A stranger because I need a viewpoint of an outsider, of someone who is not biased towards me, my family and my life.

This is one of the few times I can't bring myself out of a despicable mood and "I is not liking it!"

~ Sigh Sigh ~